My husband who smokes 6 a day (it may not be much to people who smokes alot) but its still smoking.
He said when he gets stressed and thats when he needs it, and when he is feeling bloated, annoyed, or even when he is relaxed he likes to have a ciggy.
He blames me alot because i dont help him enough. What can i do? i make healthy snacks such as carrot sticks, so evertime he is wanting a fag i give him these. and he still blames me, saying i dont support him.
I told him "its all down to the smoker themselves to quit. No one can force you etc. even if you look, at these horrible disgusting pictures on the cigarette packets, it still doesnt put smokers of, the tv adverts, awful pictures on billboards doesnt put him/other people off etc even if you watch tv documentary it doesnt put him off. His father had bypass, and still doesnt want to quit and think about his health."
he doesnt have time to go to these quit smoking sessions. he is working full time (well he works day and night. starts work at 8 in morning and finishes work at 10.30 at night
he is 27 years old.
OK, first of all i'm sure he doesn't mean to blame you, tell him that you now understand how important this is ti him and you want to help and support any way you can, first off buy him some grapes,it's a healthy food option because when smokers stop they eat more, it's very common, this is a substitute for that hand to mouth action that they get from from a ciggie, secondly tell him that you have came up with a reward scheme, use your imagination here, for every week or whatever he gets a reward for his effort, it could be sex, or cinema or a night out for a drink or a meal, let him decide what would be good and worth going for, tell him that you are there for him and ask him if there is anything else that you can do to help him stop, when he says he want,s or needs a ciggie you need to find an alternative way to occupy him, and then finally he must try hard to avoid smokers as much as he can, to do this is completely is impossible but he can try to avoid them as much as he can. remember set him some goals, it will give him more incentive and a sense of achievement each week, therefore he will try harder.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:20 am
OK, first of all i'm sure he doesn't mean to blame you, tell him that you now understand how important this is ti him and you want to help and support any way you can, first off buy him some grapes,it's a healthy food option because when smokers stop they eat more, it's very common, this is a substitute for that hand to mouth action that they get from from a ciggie, secondly tell him that you have came up with a reward scheme, use your imagination here, for every week or whatever he gets a reward for his effort, it could be sex, or cinema or a night out for a drink or a meal, let him decide what would be good and worth going for, tell him that you are there for him and ask him if there is anything else that you can do to help him stop, when he says he want,s or needs a ciggie you need to find an alternative way to occupy him, and then finally he must try hard to avoid smokers as much as he can, to do this is completely is impossible but he can try to avoid them as much as he can. remember set him some goals, it will give him more incentive and a sense of achievement each week, therefore he will try harder.
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me nogin
January 13th, 2009 at 2:22 am
It doesn't sound as if you can do much more chick - you are doing all you can already. You are right when you say its down to the smoker to quit!! Maybe he is just cranky because he is craving nicotine - so all you can do is understand this and go on supporting him as you are doing already! Good luck!!
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January 13th, 2009 at 2:27 am
Please ask him to join some meditation or some breath exercise. It will help him to make his mind very relax and reduce the number of cigar.
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January 13th, 2009 at 2:28 am
Hey babe, I am very sorry for what you husband is saying. But you are very great woman who has been delicately doing all type of support to your husband. But even though he blames you ok.
Then there is a lost option where you might have been tried but do this way.
When ever he comes to home with lot of stress just ask him to sit on the couch and remove all his dress for him and then talk him to a warm bath where you just take a bath romantic one have sex during that time.
And then have to take some food and not allow him to give some time take down to bed and give sex where he will forget everything and get interested to do sex with you and continue for some weeks and tell him that when were he is stress try to think of you and quite the smoking.
Give him some time and i hope you can make some changes by following this dear.
All the best I hope it help yooutt
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January 13th, 2009 at 2:37 am
It sounds a lot like he doesn't want to quit and you are his excuse for not doing so.He may not have time to attend anti smoking classes but it could still be worthwhile checking out the nhs quit smoking web site http://smokefree.nhs.uk/?WT.mc_id=search you may find some useful info there,
Good luck , and he is lucky to have someone who cares and is trying to help him kick this terrible habit.
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I am an ex smoker 1 year 2 months now, quit through nhs quit smoking classes.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:49 am
My partner and I have recently given up too, also smoking about 5 - 10 per day each.
It can be tricky to know how to support someone if you aren't or never have been a smoker yourself. I would suggest the following because they work for me:
Perhaps in the day time, send him a text saying hey how's it going? And encourage him to hang in there! Say that you don't mind him snapping at you as you understand it's just because he needs a ciggy, and give him a hug. Remind of how many days since his last one, and every day tell him he's doing really well, ask him if he can taste and smell things again. When you make those carrot sticks (which is a good idea) say you know it's no substitute, but perhaps it'll help take his mind off smoking. Tell him you're proud of him for deciding to give up, and that's it's a tough thing to go through.
Supporting him isn't about pointing out all the bad things about smoking. God knows every smoker has that kind of thing forced into their brains all the time! It's about encouraging him with kind words and reminding him how well he's doing. They say it takes 21 days of snot smoking, before you stop feeling the need so badly for a ciggy. In the meantime see if he's happy to try the gum or patches or inhalator for those times he needs some nicotine as going cold turkey and using just will power is REALLY difficult!
Good luck to him!
Edit: lol 21 days of NOT smoking !
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January 13th, 2009 at 2:57 am
tell him that cigratte makes bad impact on one's sexual life if he continue at this ate he will not be able to erect his pen*s any more.
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January 13th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Take a look to a new perspective at
http://stopsmoking.eu.pn/
It's a new approach designed for everyone who seriously wants to stop smoking for free without drugs, patches, nor gaining weight.
This site tackles smoking from an addiction perspective; It doesn’t matter if you are a five a day teenager, or a one hundred a day pensioner, male or female, or if this is your first or fiftieth attempt at stopping, if you follow all instructions, you'll certainly become a non-smoker, well, your husband.
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