We have guardianship of my husband's brother, he is 16. Tonight as we were going to bed, I smelled something funny,and thought something was burning. Got up, searched, and finally figured out that the 'shower' he was taking wasn't just that. Opened the door, smoke rolled out! (and steam, but clearly had smoke too.) When asked while in the shower, he said it was just steam. My husband smokes, and has spoken to him many times about him smoking before it is legal. My husband does not and has not ever smoked in our house, around our kids or in the car. He has lived with us for about 9 mos. now, and although I could blame alot on the fact that he hasn't been raised with OUR values, morals, rules, etc. He has been here long enough to know right form wrong. Any ideas on a good punishment? Please no "focus on the good, talk it out,what do you expect..your husband smokes, etc." rants. We already do that.
Take away his phone/computer/video game privileges (figure out which he'd miss the most and take that one away) for as long as you think is appropriate. (A week, a month?, whatever you think). When he whines, which he will, explain that he broke two house rules; first he smoked in the house and then he lied to you about it and neither of those things is acceptable. Make him understand that he is now suffering the consequences of two bad choices.
Caught a teen smoking in the house…what to do? Help!?
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July 8th, 2007 at 1:20 am
show him the darkness outside and tell him that's where he will be living if he does it again then really educate him about the dangers of smoking.
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July 8th, 2007 at 1:23 am
I don't believe there is anything you can do. If he wants to smoke, he will. At 16, he will just be even more resentful if you make a fuss, which will achieve nothing. Because he will still smoke, just more sneakily, etc.
You can tell him to follow the rules - do not smoke in your house. I don't know what the law is in your area. But if it isn't against the law, tell your husband to take him with him for a smoke. Outside!
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July 8th, 2007 at 1:24 am
Tell him he can smoke but must smoke outside and buy them himself. Ask him if he knows the risks and get him to tell you them - then let him free. The intrigue will either go away OR he will smoke. Whatever he chooses you wont stop. When you put a cat in a cage he will scratch to get out but if you leave the cage open the cat will probably go and sit in it.
We gave our kids permission to smoke - we don't - and neither do they. I am sure they have done. rebellion can be stopped by giving them the responsibility of choice and consequence.
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July 8th, 2007 at 1:27 am
as you said he is 16 and by now hes old enough to know right from wrong and the dangers of smoking and still chooses to do so. so my suggestion to you is ground him how ever you see fit(from TV, cell phone or outside foe a couple of days) and realize hes not going to quit smoking and tell him so. Also explain to him it is not allowed in your house or in your families presence. let him know your not going to pay for it and you dont want to see it. good luck.
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July 8th, 2007 at 1:31 am
At this age, he will do what he will do, but you don't have to help him. In other words, it is your house. If he lives in it, he abides by house rules: He buys his own smokes and does it outdoors rain or shine. You don't have to contribute. You can stop there, especially if he does this. If he continues to smoke in the house, you can get some professional help to figure out how to use tough love. He could also be emancipated, depending upon how he is with attitude and school.
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July 8th, 2007 at 1:32 am
Take away his phone/computer/video game privileges (figure out which he'd miss the most and take that one away) for as long as you think is appropriate. (A week, a month?, whatever you think). When he whines, which he will, explain that he broke two house rules; first he smoked in the house and then he lied to you about it and neither of those things is acceptable. Make him understand that he is now suffering the consequences of two bad choices.
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July 8th, 2007 at 1:53 am
Just set one rule. Don't smoke in the house. Aside from that don't give yourself a headache worrying about it. Hes big enough to make his own decisions at sixteen.
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July 8th, 2007 at 1:57 am
1 thing that worked on my frend who kept smoking
was his parents would take away the most important thing from him
OH! AND HE QUIT!
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July 8th, 2007 at 1:58 am
I think, personally, you should let your hubby handle this problem..this is HIS part of the family, rather than you being involved and getting some bad blood mixed up into this …you would NOT want to have to deal with that!
But, first talk seriously to your hubby..and let him know that he needs to do some serious talking to this kid…and HE is the ONE and ONLY ONE to do this job!!!
You do NOT want to get involved(think ahead..this could cause major problems for you down the road!! Stay clear of this mess!) Let your hubby handle his family issues!!
This is what I do, with my hubby and his kids..most of the time…His kids are NOT my children…and I don't want bad blood between his exwife who is NOT a nice person in the least!!
Please hear what I am telling you…trust me..on this one! Let the hubby deal with this kid,instead!
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Personal family issues!